I was blind and he opened my eyes, I was lost and he bought me home. I was a sinner and he died for me.

Location: United Kingdom

Well at the mo, im just trying to live the Life and Revoloution

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Tired Mumblings

Its been a long while for me to write down my thoughts on life and God and everything and i feel like now would be a good time to release some mumblings into the blogdom.
I listened to an excellent sermon this morning on James 1v13-37 and it was all about not being deceived by the world and living for Jesus!! Was pretty awesome, but my day kinda went downhill from there, i seemed to have worked all day, and yet acheived nothing. It's peculiar i know.
Have been pondering the beauty of silence in the past few hours. Have realised how insecure i am, always having to be the loudest in the study. How much beauty there is to be found in just being silent at times. Like when i feel properly stressed out, just to be tranquil in the presence of the Lord, not having to say anything because He knows what is on my tongue, not having to think anything because He knows whats on my mind, no having to do anything because I can be still in Him, peace that transcends all things. It is beautiful. It is beautiful. I can close my eyes now and know that the God who made me is real and He is here. So often i talk and talk to God, as Fletcher says, we have two ears and one mouth, shouldnt we therefore listen twice as much as we talk? I am tired of talking and i find rest in being silent and still and quiet with my Maker. I know that i don't have to impress, i have nothing to prove i can just be who he wants me to be. Wouldnt i hear so much more if i could was listening and not blabbing.

Have also lately been thinking about how much i give to God and I'm not talking about money (although i could give a lot more in that area) i mean like in every aspect of life. If only i could give everything over, wouldnt i feel so much closer to His will? I dont have a proper perspective yet, and sure His Holy Spirit is working on it totally but i feel too attatched to this world, like im doing stuff for my own gain and not giving Him glory, then when i want something its like oh yeah God, do you mind healing my Granny please. How rude, how outrageous. How much i take for granted, and yet still how I am loved, still i am valued, still I am worth a blameless man, a Son of God to die for me. This love amazes me. Nothing have i dont to deserve it, and yet everything i have been given. Grace like a river is flowing down! Its like when CS Lewis says God has still accepted us, even though we have shown Him we prefer everything to Him. Prodigal son returning to his Father. A Father who has been waiting since his son left, always looking over the horizon to see if his son is coming home, always waiting for him to return. He never gave up, such is the character of our God, he stayed watching for His son, rain, sleet, snow, shine, watching for His beloved's head to show over the hill. Such is the persistance of our God. And when His beloved did come home, he ran to meet him, he scooped him up in his arms, and kissed him and embraced him as though he had never been embraced. I imagine it being a hug that could have lasted for eternity. Such is the scenario when a person turns to God and stumbles wearily into His embrace. He pines for his beleoved to come home, such is the love of His creation. No embarressed peck and quick hug, a heavenly celebration is held, a banquet thrown in the son's honour, angels will sing, all heaven will rejoice. I cant wait to run home, i cant wait for the embrace, heaven cries for the lost and rejoices for the found tonight. How many will run home tonight? How many will be found? How many will He embrace? Can i make a difference to that number? I pray so, with His strength and in His will.

It has been good to rambnble again, thanks for reading, if indeed anyone knows about this site anymore...